Over the last week as I was preparing for a presentation on Radical Meaning, I had several people telling me what “real life” is. Here are a few versions of what I heard:

• “Life is competitive – that’s just the way real life is.”
• “I thought I was special when I was younger, and then I figured out what ‘real life’ is all about.”
•  “Well wait a minute…that’s just the way real life works.” A response when sharing a story with a friend and mentioned an unfair advantage due to “who you know.”

In this version of real life, life is at its core a competition. Scarcity abounds – we can’t all be first, best, win. In this real world, you work hard to just get you and your family ahead of the game.

When it comes to this perspective of real life, you are defined by a number on a scale, your SAT score, your salary, title, etc.

If you are young and in school, a few points on a test can move you from brilliance to simply average. Don’t fail. Fit in, don’t be weird. Be practical because crazy dreams are just for kids…

There is another option though, I call it a life of radical meaning.  (Radical because it means choosing a path that is non-conforming – the road less traveled. And meaning – rather than happiness – because I believe and research shows that human beings are most content and joyful when they strive for meaning rather than happiness.)  In this version of real life:

• You — your life matters. There is only one of you (1 in 7 billion plus to be exact).
• The world needs the contribution only you can give. The original Latin from which the word genius comes from means an internal spiritual guide unique to each person. So the idea of genius being limited to very narrow criteria based is a fairly modern construct.
• Miracles can happen and come from unexpected places everyday.
• Your work is a vocation, a calling. You are meant to express who you really are, do what you love like crazy, and impact the world in a way only you can.
• Everyone deserves an opportunity. And there is actually an abundance, so we can share.
• We are really all in this together.

I have been examining which path I am choosing – not in theory, that’s too easy – but in actions. What real life do my actions speak? I don’t think you can be on both paths simultaneously.  You can dabble in one and live the other, but you can’t walk both versions together.

And what about my two geniuses, what version of real life am I training my kids for?

How about you?